


Love is All We Have

by Spunky89



Series: A Domestic(ish) Life [4]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Family Drama, Hurt/Comfort, I Tried, Multi, Original Character(s), Polyamory, loosely based on my family, small references to white reader, sorry - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-06
Updated: 2019-10-06
Packaged: 2020-11-26 06:40:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,122
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20925818
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Spunky89/pseuds/Spunky89
Summary: When the reader's family comes to New York for a vacation, the reader must face the decision of telling (or not) her family of her new relationship and the repercussions of her choice.





	Love is All We Have

“Sweetheart, you know you gotta tell ‘em,” Steve said gently, trying desperately to placate the woman who was currently switching from mass hysteria to anger then back again.   
“Steve you don’t understand! My family is so fucked up and judgmental and I know what’s gonna happen and I’ve been dreading it since we first put a label on this and I- oh god I think I’m gonna be sick.” (Y/N) said as she went from pacing to squatting on the floor breathing heavily.   
Steve jumped up from the couch and over to her immediately. There were tears streaming down her face, which was ghostly white. He quickly helped her up and got her to the bathroom just as she started to vomit. He held her hair back as he rubbed her back. He tried his best to murmur soothing words as she emptied the contents of her stomach. He was able to grab a washcloth and wet it with one hand as he did his best to support (Y/N). Once she was done, she pulled back from the toilet a bit. Steve took care of flushing the toilet and wiping her face.   
“I can’t Steve, I can’t lose anyone.” (Y/N) mumbled.  
“Okay, it’s okay. Shhhh, we’ll talk about it later okay. Just calm down, let your body rest.” He said soothingly. She nodded and let Steve pick her up and take her to bed.   
\--------------  
When Bucky returned from some avengers stuff about half an hour later, he was faced with a sticky note on the door that said to be quiet. He cautiously and silently opened the door, wondering what was happening. He came into the apartment where he could see Steve with his head in his hands, sitting on the couch. The door to your bedroom was closed, which made him curious.  
“Steve…?” Bucky quietly called out as he dropped his stuff on the entryway table.  
Steve startled and looked over at Bucky.   
“I didn’t hear you come in,” Steve spoke softly and serenely, his eyes portraying a different set of emotions, however.   
Bucky scoffed and said, “Obviously, if you say be quiet when coming in, I’m gonna be quiet.”  
“No that’s not- right. Thanks.” Steve said, his words as jumbled as his headspace seemed to be.   
“You wanna tell me what’s wrong, and why I had to be quiet coming in?” Bucky asked taking a seat next to Steve, grabbing his hand.  
“Oh uh, (Y/N) finally fell asleep. I didn’t want to wake her. She’s been… in a bit of a bad state.” Steve said vaguely.  
“What do you mean by ‘a bad state’?” Bucky asked, his mind spinning a hundred and one theories on what could be wrong with you and who he would kill if someone had hurt you.  
“Well uh, her grandmother called. Her whole family is coming up to New York for a vacation.” Steve said.  
“Oookay,”  
“She still hasn’t told her family about our relationship,” Steve stated.  
“Oh,” Bucky knew this. You’d been so worried about telling the Avengers about your relationship, he couldn’t imagine what you were doing to yourself when you were contemplating telling your family.  
“Yeah. She worked herself up so much she threw up twice before she finally fell asleep. I don’t know what to do. How do we help her?” Steve asked, his eyes glistening with helplessness.  
“We be there for her,” Bucky said firmly.  
“Yeah, but if we can’t?” Steve asked. When Bucky shot him a questioning glance he elaborated. “She doesn’t want to tell them, Buck, so that means we can’t be there for her if her family has no clue we exist.”   
“Her family knows we exist. We’ve both met her mother on skype, for granted as friends and not lovers, but that’s beside the point. We met for dinner with her sister and brother-in-law. They know we exist. And if we go with her to see them as just friends then so be it. Even if she only wants one of us there. We will support her. No matter what.”   
Steve nodded and they sat in silence for a while longer. Eventually, the bedroom door cracked open and you wandered out looking worse for wear.  
\------------  
Your head was pounding, your throat hurt, and your stomach was cramping from too much throwing up. All in all, you felt like shit. You looked at the time and saw that Bucky should have been home so you slowly got up and headed towards the door, opening it just a crack. The brightness of the living area was a stark contrast to the darkness of the bedroom you were exiting. The boys both looked up from where they were cuddled together on the couch.  
Bucky extends an arm toward you and you amble your way over and plop on their laps.   
“How’re ya feelin’ doll?” Bucky asked as he wrapped you in his arms.  
“A bit better, still off though.”  
“That’s to be expected after everything,” Steve said with a gentle smile.   
“I’m sorry for freaking out on you.” You spoke quietly.  
“Don’t worry about it.” He dismissed, the smile still on his face.  
“Do you want to talk about it?” Bucky asked.  
“Buck!” Steve exclaimed.  
“What?”   
“She just woke up after having a breakdown over this and you chose to ask her now.” Steve lectured.  
“It’s okay Stevie, he’s just worried. And I get that.” You said, placing a hand on his arm.  
“I just don’t want to push you.”   
“I know you don’t. But you also have a right to know why I’m freaking out.” You say avoiding looking them in the eye.  
“I think we already put that together doll,” Bucky spoke softly.  
“Wha-wha’d’ya mean?”   
“From what you’ve told us about your family, they seem like anything outside the so-called norm is not approved. And with as anxious you were about telling the Avengers, who are all pretty open-minded people, it was fairly easy to put two and two together.” Bucky explained.  
“Oh,”  
“Don’t worry sweetheart. We aren’t mad or anything. Whatever you choose to tell or not to tell your family is 100% your call. We will love and support you regardless. If you need more time, we understand completely.” Steve promised. Tears gathered and poured from your eyes. Their kindness and love for you amazed you. Your sniffle quickly gathered their attention and caused both of them to curl tighter around you.  
“Shhhh, it’s okay. You’re alright. We got you.”   
“I’m okay, I just, I love you guys so much and I just-” You sniffle, not able to fully formulate a sentence that could get your feelings across effectively.   
“Shhh, we love you too sweetheart.”  
“More than you know,” Bucky added.  
\----------------------------------  
You took a deep breath as you walked into the airport. You were so excited to be seeing your family again. It had been almost 6 months since you’d seen your family in person. However, you knew the boys were waiting in the parking lot for you all. And you knew what was coming soon after that. Luckily your family had rented a spacious Airbnb for the week, so you weren’t going to be as cramped back at the townhouse just outside the city. But you were still terrified. After almost a week of fretting and turning your thoughts over, you decided you wanted to tell your family. Your boys meant too much to you to be kept a secret. You didn’t care if your family shunned you, hell, you were expecting it. But you knew your mom would still love you, as would your sister. And most importantly, you’d have the loves of your life to back you up.  
As you saw people start to filter out of the terminal, you stood and looked for your large family. They weren’t hard to pick out. Between the tallness of some of your family members and how loud they were, it was an easy spot. The hard part was getting them to see you. Luckily you were smart enough to bring a tall and bright sign to draw their attention. You noticed your family heading in your direction so you sent a quick message to the boys to let them know your family was off the plane. There were some tears as your family reconnected. It was so wonderful to see them, you almost forgot the pit of anxiety in your stomach.   
After you helped them gather their luggage, you headed off toward the entrance. You sent a to the boys to have them come pick you up as you didn’t want your grandparents to have to walk all the way to the garage. You briefly explained that your friends had offered to drive you guys so you didn’t have to uber. They were more than happy to not have to pay for a ride, so there were no questions asked. The boys quickly hopped out to help load up. They had hats, glasses, and jackets on to try and keep from being spotted. Luckily, no one in the busy loading area was paying much attention to anyone but themselves. Your family, on the other hand, seemed very shocked at these two buff men helping out. Your mom gave you a knowing smile when she realized just who they were. The only people who knew of your friendship with the two super-soldiers were your mom, sister, and brother-in-law. When it came time to load into the cars you had a momentary panic at which boy you didn’t want to leave alone with your family. The boys came up to you, seeing your momentary panic as the rest of the family loaded in.   
“Don’t worry about us doll, we can handle ourselves,” Bucky promised.  
“Yeah, but whoever I’m not with is going to be subjected to relentless questioning.” You whined.  
Steve let out a laugh and Bucky chuckled with him.  
“You go with Buck, I can handle your family. I promise.” Steve ushered.   
“You say that now,” You mumbled as you headed towards the car Bucky was driving.  
\-----------------  
You hated driving in the City. You got car sick very easily, so the quick jolting of traffic was never any fun for you. Luckily, your grandma let you sit in the front so it would be a bit easier on you. Bucky apologized every time he had to hit the breaks and your family thought it was hilarious. He also kept sending you concerned looks. And this was just the first five minutes.  
“So, you gonna introduce us? We kinda skipped that part in the rush.” Your cousin asked.  
“Oh, yeah, right. So, everyone, this is my best friend Bucky, Buck, the fam.” You said, a false smile on your face.   
“Nice to meet you. I’ve heard lots about you.” Bucky said. His eyes flitted to the rearview to look at the occupants of the car.   
“Oh have you now?” Your grandma asked.  
“Nanna, please don’t. Bucky was nice enough to lend a hand. Please don’t scare him off.” You begged turning to look at her. At the same moment, someone cut Bucky off causing him to slam on the breaks and mumble some curses in Russian.   
“Sorry doll.” He said.  
You laughed as you turned back around. “Bucky stop apologizing. You sound like Steve.” You teased.  
“Listen here-”   
“Ooooh, lovers quarrel.” Your cousin teased.  
Both you and Bucky froze mid-sentence. You turned to glare at your cousin, icey fire in your eyes.  
“Ooh shit, was I right?” He asked when he saw the glare leveled at him.  
You took a deep breath and turned back to face the front of the car.  
“You can drop him off on the next street corner and he can walk.” You said to Bucky, your voice sickly sweet, the venom dripping from every word.  
Bucky laughed outright at that, which made you smile, he usually only laughed like that when it was just you, him, and Steve.  
“Com’on Doll, if you kicked Steve or I out every time we pissed you off, we’d never be in your presence.”  
“That’s not the point.” You pouted.  
You could hear your family snickering in the back. You glanced over to Bucky to see him trying to contain a smile.  
“Just drive asshole.”  
\------------------------------------  
When you got to the house you felt sick to your stomach and totally done with Bucky. You got out of the car and went over to Steve. You hugged him and said, “You’re now my favorite.” You made sure it was loud enough for Bucky to hear.  
You felt Steve’s chest rumble as he laughed.  
“What’d you do?” Steve asked.  
“Just stated the obvious. She hasn’t talked to any of us pretty much the whole ride.”  
“How was the drive part though?” Steve asked you, pushing you away enough to look you in the eye.  
“Not great, I currently feel like vomiting but hey, what else is new.” You shrugged.  
“Well you head inside, we’ll help them unload,” Steve said.  
“No no, I’m fine.”  
“No, you’re not,” Bucky said.  
“Doesn’t matter, I’m helping.” You said as you moved to grab a bag.  
“(Y/F/N) do not make me make Steve use the voice.” Bucky threatened.  
Your family stopped to watch the altercation.  
“Steve would never.” You argued.  
“What would I never?” Steve asked as he came out of the house.  
“Make her go rest,” Bucky said.  
“Ooooh, I see.” Steve then proceeded to give you ‘the eyebrows of disappointment’ as he said “(Y/N),”  
“Steve, I’m fine. The faster we unpack, the faster I’ll sit down.” You countered. It must have been a sight for your family to see. Your comparatively tiny frame staring down these two brick houses. But you didn’t back down. Years of friendship prevented this. You’d had your fair share of disagreements with them, they didn’t scare you. And Steve’s ‘captain voice’ only worked occasionally.   
You didn’t break eye contact as you walked backwards towards one of the SUVs and grabbed a bag. Steve sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose as Bucky just glared. You smiled widely as you walked towards the house, an extra sway in your hips. You could hear your family cackle as you walked into the house. You saw your mom starting the process of cleaning the kitchen and she looked up at you when you entered.  
“What is going on out there?” She asked.  
“My friends are ganging up on me and the fam thinks it's hilarious.” You said.  
“Oh well you kno- are you okay, you’re awfully pale.” Your mom asked coming over to you.   
“Oh yeah, just car sick momma.” You said, waving it off.  
“Why don’t you sit down then?” She asked trying to lead you over to a seat.  
You sighed and complied, only cause you really felt like passing out. When the boys came in with two large cases each and saw you sitting at the kitchen bar top they just stared.  
“Stop staring and go put that luggage down.” You grumbled.  
Steve just smiled and kissed the top of your head as he passed.

Once everything had been unpacked and take-out had been ordered, you all gathered in the large living room to talk and catch up. At this point, your family had figured out you were friends with two Avengers.  
“Why the hell would you not tell us you knew Captain America! I mean that’s pretty important!” Your cousin said.  
“I don’t know. I guess cause to me they’re not Captain America and the Winter Soldier, they’re just Steve and Bucky.” You explained with a shrug.  
Her family just stared at the three of them sitting on the floor by the coffee table.   
“Well, I guess you taking self-defense classes makes sense. I assume one of them is your teacher?” Your younger cousin asked.  
“Yeah, they’re both always worried about me. At first, it was Steve, but he was too afraid of hurting me so he asked a friend who doesn’t have super strength to train me a bit.” You said, leaving out that it was actually Natasha who trains you once a week. You didn’t really want to go through the fact that you know and are fairly friendly with the rest of the Avengers.   
“Damn, okay then.” your cousin said, an impressed look on her face. You laughed at that. You were practically sandwiched between the boys. You were used to this though, and you came to enjoy it more and more. As the night wore on, you got less nervous and let yourself go a little bit. You were much less rigid and enjoyed being with your whole family again. It had been so long since you all just laughed and chatted like this. The boys were enjoying it as well. They got to hear some stories about you that you would have never told. As the hours got later, the cozier the three of you became. It got to the point where you were practically in both of their laps. You could see your family starting to give the three of you looks, but you tried to avoid it. You could feel Bucky nudging you every time you dodged a look from your grandma or cousin. Eventually, you heard Bucky let out a deep sigh. You knew what was coming.  
“Alright, I’m done with this.” He said quietly to you as he adjusted you in his lap. You went stiff as you looked at him with fear painted across your face.   
“You good (Y/N/N)?” Your cousin asked as he saw your change in demeanor.   
“Uh, yeah, kinda.” You stuttered out, still staring at Bucky. He gave you a sympathetic look. You could see in his eyes he was giving you an out, but you didn’t want one. You didn’t want your boys to think you were ashamed of them, especially Bucky. You’d spent so long reassuring him he was deserving of happiness and love, you knew chickening out would hurt him more than any of you.  
You took a deep breath and turned to face your family, who had all gone unusually quiet while watching you have your silent conversation with Bucky.  
“Okay, so,” You took another breath, “wow, this is harder than I thought.” You felt your hands start to shake, but each of the boys took a hand to lend you their support.  
“Bucky and Steve aren’t just my best friends… They’re my boyfriends.” You squeezed your eyes shut as you waited for the expected explosion. But it was silent. You peaked your eyes open to see the shocked faces of your family. Well, everyone except your mom, who was smiling at you. Figures she knew, she always knew everything. After some slow blinking and looks to other members of the family, your family started to try and wrap their heads around the bomb you just dropped.   
“I’m sorry what?” Your grandfather questioned.  
“I’m dating both Steve and Bucky, the three of us are in a relationship.” You explained, squeezing the boys' hands in an iron grip.   
“That’s ridiculous. You can’t date more than one person.” Your cousin said, his eyebrows furrowed in shock and disbelief.  
“You actually kinda can. And we have, for a while now.” You said, your voice shaky and meek.   
“Wow, greedy much? Can’t have just one, you need two?” Your little cousin said, her lips forming a scoff.  
“Please, don’t be like this.” You begged, your eyes filling with tears.  
“Like what? Honey, you can’t date two men. That’s just not how it works.” Your grandmother said, her voice not hostile, but like she was explaining something to a two-year-old.   
“How what works? Your idea of a relationship. Newsflash, it’s not the 50s anymore nan.” You snapped, getting defensive now.  
“Alright, let’s all calm down.” Your mother said, trying to keep anyone from saying more hurtful things.  
“No, it’s fine. I knew this would happen. Hell, I almost wasn’t even gonna say anything because I knew you guys would act like assholes about it. But I did because my boys deserve better than to feel like my dirty secret. I love them with all I have and I know they love me as well. So if you can’t comprehend that with your tiny little brains, then that’s your problem.” You ranted, getting up and gathering your things as you said your piece. “We are leaving, and if any of you want to get your heads out of your asses, I would love to have another meal with you and spend more time together, but if you can’t well… screw you.” You said as you walked out the door.  
You knew the boys would follow, they always would. You made it out the door and to the car before you broke down. Your sobs nearly brought you to your knees. They would have if Bucky wouldn’t have been as fast as he was at catching you.  
“Sh, sh, sh. I know. You were so brave. I love you so much. I’m so sorry you had to deal with that.” Bucky murmured into your hair. You felt Steve also wrap himself around you from behind as you sobbed in the driveway.   
You heard the front door to the house open and Steve briefly pull away to see who had followed you. You could also feel Bucky stiffen, ready for a fight.  
“Oh my baby,” You heard your mom mutter.  
You pulled away from Bucky to look at her as her eyes filled with tears. You rushed in to give her a big hug, letting her hold you while you both cried.  
“You get my baby home and take care of her.” Your mom ordered the boys.  
“We will ma’am,” Steve promised.  
“It was great to finally meet you both in person. I’m glad she found you.” She said as she passed you off to Bucky, kissing your forehead.  
“I’ll call you tomorrow.” She promised. You nodded and let Bucky pick you up and bring you to the car.   
The drive home was a blur. You knew this was gonna happen. You’d prepared yourself the best you could for the inevitable, but it didn’t make it hurt any less. You bearly registered the boys bringing you upstairs and helping you to get ready for bed, washing your face, and taking your hair out. You only came back to the present when you felt them curl into you, surrounding you with them. The tears came back again as you thought about how you pretty much just lost your whole family. The people who had always promised to be there for you, no matter what.   
The boys tried so hard to console you. The guilt was killing them. They knew you’d be mad if you knew they felt guilty, but they couldn’t help it. They knew what your family meant to you, and they’d effectively just ripped it apart.   
“Always got your back my ass,” you mumbled.  
“What’s that sweetheart?” Steve asked, nuzzling into your hair. You giggled through the tears as his nose tickled your neck.   
“They just, it was always the family thing to promise we’d always have each other’s back. It’s just kind of ironic that they all seemed to forget that.”  
“I am so sorry doll, I wish we’d never pushed you to tell them.” Bucky apologized, the tears gathering behind his icy blue eyes.  
“Oh no no no, don’t be sorry.” You said, your tears coming back when you realized how hurt he was. “I knew what they’d think. But you know what?” You rolled over to hold his face in your hands. “Fuck them, they don’t realize how lucky and how happy I am. If their small-mindedness is more important than me, I don’t really want them in my life anyway.” You said.  
“But I know how much your family means to you,” Bucky said lowly.  
“Family to me is the people that love and support you unconditionally. So if they can’t do that, they’re not my family. But you know who is. You.” You said, the smile coming back to your face as you saw Bucky let out a little laugh, his eyes brightening.  
“You boys are my home and family now. If some of them get over the shock and want to be part of my family great, but if not, I’ll be okay. Cause I got my boys.” You said, reaching behind you to pull Steve closer to you.  
The three of you fell asleep that night, tears dried and smile on your face. It hurt to lose your family, but you knew that you’d always have your boys, and that was enough to lessen the pain in your heart.


End file.
